Free Book Study Resource

Beyond the Goalpost
Book Study Guide

Key points for all 54 chapters of Beyond the Goalpost: Winning in Coaching, Leadership, and Life, plus big-picture notes on the whole book, group discussion questions, and a 10-session study plan for staffs, teams, and small groups.

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About This Guide

This guide is a companion for coaches, staffs, and groups reading Beyond the Goalpost together. It gives a big-picture look at the book first, then a quick summary of every chapter: the big idea, the key points, and one new discussion question to get a group talking.

The questions here are meant to go with the book’s own Reflection & Discussion Guide (pages 272–279), not replace it. Each chapter already has a reflection question there. If time allows, use both: the book’s question for personal reflection, and this guide’s question for group discussion.

How to use each chapter entry:

Big idea: the chapter in one sentence.
Key points: the main teaching, frameworks, and stories to remember.
Discuss: a group question that adds to the one at the back of the book.

The Book as a Whole

The core message

Beyond the Goalpost is built on one conviction from the Author’s Note and the Final Word: how you coach reflects how you lead, and how you lead reflects how you live. The three sections (Coaching, Leadership, Life) are presented as one idea, not three. The title carries the main point: the goalpost is not the finish line. What matters most (relationships, growth, service, and integrity when no one is watching) happens beyond it.

This is not a strategy or X’s-and-O’s book. It is a collection of lessons from more than 25 years of coaching, told through real stories: a 1-3 team that won nine straight, a State Championship lost in the final 26 seconds, a whitewater rafting trip, a kid grateful for “bread and everything,” and the author’s own season of depression and anxiety.

How the book is organized

Part One — Winning in Coaching (18 chapters): Building culture, standards, and players who lead themselves. It builds toward the last chapter, When Culture Takes Over.
Part Two — Winning in Leadership (18 chapters): The person behind the title: purpose, mission, security, trust, choices, and caring for yourself so you can lead others.
Part Three — Winning in Life (18 chapters): Faith, identity, gratitude, adversity, and hope, mostly away from the field.
Closing material: Keep Taking Steps: A Final Word, a Personal Notes section, a chapter-by-chapter Reflection & Discussion Guide, and a closing poem, “The Bottom Line.”

The “How to Use This Book” page suggests different starting points. Coaches start with Coaching. Players start with Coaching, then Life. Business leaders start with Leadership. Anyone in a hard season starts with Life.

The chapter pattern

Most chapters follow the same rhythm, which helps when leading discussion:

An opening quote (Wooden, Lombardi, Lincoln, Frankl, and others)
A real story from the author’s career or family
A simple framework, usually 3–4 points or an acronym
A turn from sports to life: most chapters end by applying the lesson to business, family, or any organization
A closing line or Scripture

Big themes that run through the book

Player-led culture is the goal. The test of a culture is what happens when the coach is not in the room. This shows up in Top 10 Traits, Create More Leaders, Leading from the HOV Lane, and most of all When Culture Takes Over.
Compliance is not the goal. Again and again the book separates doing what you’re told from owning the standard: coachable vs. compliant, compliance vs. covenant, committed vs. dedicated.
Decide before the moment comes. Toughness, effort, sacrifice, and handling pressure are all described as decisions made ahead of time, not in the heat of the moment.
Character over talent, and development over potential. “Talent gets you in the room, but character keeps you there.” The book warns against praising potential instead of holding people accountable for growth.
Small things are never small. A cup on the practice field, water bottles in the end zone, folding chairs, mustard seeds, and drops of rain all show that culture is built in small, unseen moments.
Purpose and your “why.” People drift when they start chasing recognition and reward. Peace comes from returning to why you started and playing “the game that never ends.”
Identity is not your scoreboard. Wins and losses don’t define worth. “You Are Born To Be Special” is the book’s repeated message, with the emphasis on to be.
Relationships and service. Great teammates sacrifice time, listen, speak truth, and fill needs. Great leaders refill and get refilled.
Faith as the foundation. The author’s Christian faith is open throughout, especially in Part Three. Most chapters close with Scripture.
Honesty about struggle. The author shares his own failures, ego, rejections, and a season of depression and anxiety, and makes the case that asking for help is a strength.

Frameworks and tools to know

Framework	Chapter
4 principles for turning a program around: treat players better, raise expectations, pound the fundamentals, choke the negative	Transforming Struggling Programs
3 Keys: somewhere to be, something to do, someone to deal with	Building Habits of Excellence
4 enemies of sacrifice: negativity, insecurity, worry, comparison	Embracing Sacrifice
T.E.A.M. traits: Sacrifice, Discipline, Toughness, Relentless	Celebrate Development
4 Languages: Structure, Discipline, Love, Winning	4 Languages of Successful Teams
Four-sentence mission statement: purpose, process, environment, outcome	Develop a Mission Statement
Example-based vs. title-based leadership	From Title to Trust
4 choices: Compliance, Conviction, Compromise, Covenant	What We Have Everyday… Choices
HOV: Humility, Honesty, and Hearing Offer Value	Leading from the HOV Lane
T.R.U.T.H.: Today, Remind, Understand, Trust, Hope	The Truth Card
F.O.I.L.: First, Outside, Inside, Last	Aluminum Foil Basketball
Stance, Start, Win the Battle	Edge Period

Phrases the group will hear again and again

“Hardest worker, best teammate, most coachable”
“Player-led team”
“Demanding, not demeaning. Coach them hard and love them harder.”
“Define the line and defend it every day”
“Every day is game day”
“You are born to be special”

Part One — Winning in Coaching

Written for coaches at every level, and just as much for players. The section builds toward one moment: the day the culture no longer depends on the coach to exist.

1. Transforming Struggling Programs: Key Strategies

Big idea: Rebuilding a program comes down to four simple principles, lived out every day.

A mentor who turned a program around in three years gave the author four principles: treat players better than they’ve ever been treated, raise expectations higher than ever, pound the fundamentals, and choke the negative.
Treating players better (gear, meals, towels, real relationships) must be matched by higher accountability in attendance, schoolwork, lockers, language, and effort.
“Choke the negative” doesn’t mean ignoring problems. It means dealing with them directly, then refusing to keep feeding gossip and negativity.
Simple is not the same as easy. Programs are transformed “one day, one player, and one decision at a time.”

Discuss: Which of the four is easiest to say and hardest to keep doing in the middle of a season?

2. Top 10 Traits of Overachieving Teams

Big idea: Overachieving teams decide who they are before the first game. Their habits come before their results.

A 2005 team started 1-3, then won nine straight and reached the state quarterfinals. That wasn’t a miracle. They already had great life habits, so “early failure is just information, not a verdict.”
The ten traits: student-athletes, committed to the extra, coaches’ concerns are about execution (never effort), team-enforced standards, credible leaders, coachable not compliant, cohesion over cliques, steady improvement, all are valued, and honest dialogue.
Very few of the traits are about football. That is the point.
The coach can’t make that decision for the team. The coach’s job is to build the environment where the decision becomes possible.

Discuss: Has your group “decided” what kind of team it is, or is it waiting for results to tell it?

3. Building Habits of Excellence in Student Athletes

Big idea: The classroom and the field are “the same test, given in two different rooms.”

In 25+ years the author has never seen a player struggle through the school day and then have a great day on the field. A gifted player’s missed assignments in class showed up as missed assignments on the field.
3 Keys of adult life: Somewhere to be (attendance), something to do (assignments and follow-through), and someone to deal with (attitude in relationships).
“You are the sum of all your reps.” Every completed assignment is a rep, and so is every skipped one.
Preparation is the only thing you truly control. “At the moment of truth, there are either results or reasons.”

Discuss: Which of the three keys do your players most often treat as “not part of football”?

4. 4 Essential Traits of a Great Teammate

Big idea: Great teammates are relentless in pursuing each other, especially when no one is watching.

A transfer quarterback sat for half a season without complaining or pulling away. He kept encouraging and building relationships. When his turn came, teammates were ready to follow him because “he had never stopped leading.” He later signed an NFL free-agent contract.
The four traits: Sacrifice (giving your time), Listen to Understand, Speak the Truth (to build up, never belittle), and Fill a Need.
The teammate you are is a daily choice. You are either adding to the culture or subtracting from it.
The same four traits hold together marriages, workplaces, and friendships.

Discuss: Think of a great teammate you had. Which of the four traits did they show you?

5. Mastering Coachability: 4 Essential Steps for Athletes

Big idea: Coachability is not a personality trait. It is a decision made again and again.

Learning needs a good environment, a knowledgeable teacher, and a willing learner, and the learner matters most.
The goal isn’t compliance. It’s real change in behavior, mindset, and habits that becomes self-sufficient.
4 Steps: Awareness (you are the CEO of your life), the Daily Battle of Conviction vs. Compromise, Repentance (“to turn back”: correct quickly), and Make a Covenant (decide who you will be).
The real tests come on an ordinary Tuesday, when you’re tired, corrected in front of the team, or disagree with a playing-time decision.

Discuss: What does coachability look like in your program when the coach isn’t around?

6. Aligning with the Larger Purpose of Your Team

Big idea: Personal goals are fine, but great teams are made of people whose heart, mind, and spirit line up with the mission.

A team can have many personalities but needs a single mindset. Selfishness breaks a team down; selflessness builds a lasting culture.
Heart (what you do): Am I the hardest worker, best teammate, and most coachable?
Mind (what you think): Are my thoughts about what I’m getting, or what’s best for the team?
Spirit (what you believe): Does my belief hold steady when results don’t go our way?

Discuss: Where do you see individual goals quietly competing with team goals right now?

7. Embracing Sacrifice: Unlocking Your Full Potential

Big idea: Showing up isn’t sacrifice. Sacrifice is choosing to go beyond what is required.

What often stops sacrifice is not unwillingness. It is fear of standing out.
Four enemies of sacrifice and what defeats them: Negativity (your choices), Insecurity (knowledge and truth), Worry (action), and Comparison (focusing on your own character and standards).
Sacrifice has to be decided before the moment arrives, then honored in private.
“Sacrifice is not about what you give up. It is about what you are choosing to build.”

Discuss: Which of the four enemies shows up most on your team or staff?

8. Discipline: Choices Over Feelings

Big idea: Discipline is about choices, not feelings, and it is the highway to a player-led team.

Disciplined players are where they are supposed to be, doing what they are supposed to do, when it is supposed to be done, whether they feel like it or not.
Three truths: Discipline is about choices, not feelings; it has no limits (“hard” is not a stopping point); and it creates habits and routine.
Two daily questions: Will I do what I don’t want to do but need to? Will I avoid what I want to do but shouldn’t?
“Discipline is the greatest indicator that you have a personal standard.”

Discuss: Where does your program reward feelings over choices without meaning to?

9. Building Toughness: 3 Essential Truths for Athletes

Big idea: Toughness is the winning edge. It is more mental than physical, and anyone can build it.

Every time you do what’s right over what you feel like doing (even chores), you get mentally tougher.
Three truths: Toughness is pre-determined (decide in advance how you’ll respond), a trained skill (improve it or lose it), and what defines competitors (“they folded when it got hard” is one of the worst things that can be said).
Athletics is a controlled place to practice toughness before life demands it at full cost.
“The toughest players are not born that way; they are forged.”

Discuss: How do you intentionally build toughness in practice, beyond just making things hard?

10. Relentless Effort: A Non-Negotiable Mindset

Big idea: A coach can’t develop what they can’t see. Inconsistent effort hides a player.

“I have never been able to evaluate a player who does not give full effort.” Effort has nothing to do with talent, size, or circumstances. It is a decision.
Three truths: Relentless effort is a pre-made decision, it is undeniable when it is real (“the most contagious thing in sports”), and it passes the mirror test every time.
The author calls it the warrior spirit, and it belongs to everyone.
The player who won’t be outworked in practice becomes the employee who finds a way and the spouse who doesn’t quit.

Discuss: What is your program’s standard for effort, and does every player know exactly what it looks like?

11. Celebrate Development… Not Potential

Big idea: Over-praising potential trains young athletes to value results and status instead of growth.

Gifted athletes often succeed early without preparing, and only hear “work harder” after they fail. The hard worker can get overshadowed by the one who makes it look easy.
“Talent gets you in the room, but character keeps you there.”
This is why the T.E.A.M. Leadership program recognizes athletes monthly for Toughness, Discipline, Sacrifice, and Relentless spirit.
The goal is people who can stand on their own when the support system is gone. The real work is the foundation.

Discuss: What do you publicly celebrate in your program, and what does it teach players to value?

12. See Through Your Coaches’ Eyes

Big idea: Potential takes off when players, assistant coaches, and people see through their leader’s eyes.

As a player: Coaches care more about how you do things than results alone. “Do not compete for playing time… compete to be known as the hardest worker, most coachable player and best teammate.” Daily focus: best effort, don’t fear failure, stay teachable.
As a coach: Great assistants notice the details, become an extension of the head coach, solve problems, and never coach with sarcasm.
As a person: The closer the author is to God, the more clearly he sees the best in himself. The world’s view is conditional; “the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).

Discuss: Assistants: what does the head coach notice that you tend to miss? Players: same question about your coaches.

13. Every Piece Matters: Building Team Success

Big idea: Every role matters. The picture can’t be finished without every piece.

On the T.E.A.M. Leadership Trip, groups race to finish a team-photo puzzle that is secretly missing two pieces. They earn the pieces by answering questions about their teammates.
The lessons: keep the vision (the box), early chaos is normal, each piece is uniquely shaped, some pieces fit quickly and some take time, and you need help from coaches to finish.
In life, scattered pieces don’t mean the picture is gone. It is still being formed.
Great cultures are ones where everyone knows the work can’t be finished without them.

Discuss: Which roles on your team are the least visible, and how do you make sure those players know they matter?

14. Visualizing Success: Coaches & Players

Big idea: Picture day is the first frame of an unfinished picture. Coach, player, and team should begin with the end in mind.

As a coach: Define what a player should look like when they leave your program, and make sure your daily standards match it (“yes sir,” body language, never accepting “almost”).
As a player: Great moments aren’t accidental; they are rehearsed. “I ran on the road long before I danced under the lights.” (Ali)
As a team: Picture the phone call years from now. “Maximize your relationships and you will maximize your opportunities.”
“You hold the brush… Paint a masterpiece.”

Discuss: If you wrote down the end-of-season picture today, what would be in it besides the record?

15. 4 Languages of Successful Teams

Big idea: Every player wants Structure, Discipline, Love, and Success, even if they won’t say it.

Structure is proof you have a plan (the walls and roof). Discipline is proof standards exist, and it is not the same as fear or intimidation. Love is proof you truly care; the difference between influence and manipulation is motive.
“Be demanding, not demeaning. Coach them hard and love them harder.” Never correct without reinforcing belief.
Winning validates the process and builds buy-in, but programs that win without the other three are fragile.
“Compete to win, provide structure & discipline, and always remember: love never fails.”

Discuss: Which language is your program fluent in, and which one is it weakest in?

16. Creating Standards: The Purpose of “Stretch Lines”

Big idea: “Culture is not defined by what you celebrate. It is defined by what you tolerate.”

The most dangerous drift isn’t rebellion. It’s the slow, invisible lowering of what everyone accepts. “Nobody crossed a line. They just stopped defending one.”
The Daily Mindset: Stretch lines set a team standard before the first rep. Everyone needs a daily routine that sets the standard before the day sets it for them.
Boundaries: The field’s dimensions never change. Success doesn’t earn freedom from boundaries, and failure doesn’t excuse you from them.
A Standard of Excellence: The line doesn’t grade on effort. The aim is “not compliance. Identity.”

Discuss: What small standard has quietly slipped in your program this season?

17. The Process of Discipline

Big idea: Discipline isn’t something done to people. It’s built in a thousand quiet moments: “pick up the cup.”

A respected coach picked up a cup a player left on the field, without saying a word. That moment explained his whole program.
Disciplined choices rarely pay off right away. The reward is internal: the settled satisfaction of knowing you did right. What discipline produces is character.
Discipline shares a root with disciple: someone formed over time, not punished into following. Discipline experienced as punishment produces fear; experienced as process, it produces ownership.
Small compromises lead to decline; small disciplined habits lead to growth.

Discuss: What is “the cup on the ground” in your building, and who picks it up?

18. When Culture Takes Over

Big idea: You know you have a great culture when players uphold the standard when you’re not around.

The author walked into the facility after school and found players running the program’s drills on their own, coaching and correcting each other in the staff’s language.
It isn’t a championship, the right words in a meeting (“compliance is not culture”), or a tradition. It’s quieter than all of those.
It takes patience. There are seasons where everything is going in and nothing is visible yet. Lowering the standard to relieve pressure resets the clock.
Every chapter in this section builds toward this one. Even then culture is never finished; it has to be tended every day.

Discuss: What would you see in your locker room or office today if the leader weren’t there?

Part Two — Winning in Leadership

The author calls this the most personal section, “where the profession becomes the person.” Every chapter applies well beyond sports.

1. Getting Back to “Why” You Started

Big idea: People drift when the reason they play changes from joy and belonging to recognition and reward.

Everyone starts for basic human reasons: fun, belonging, challenge, connection. “The game hasn’t changed; the reason for playing has changed.”
Dopamine, the reward chemical, can pull us toward recognition, status, and comparison (social media is an example). Talented people are especially likely to drift.
Reward-driven motivation leads to entitlement (“I deserve this”) or victimhood (“I’m not getting what I deserve”).
The author’s original why: make a difference in people’s lives, provide an unbelievable experience, and add value to team success. Revisit: Why did I start? How can I serve? How can I develop? What are my goals?

Discuss: What signs tell you that someone on your team (or you) has drifted from their why?

2. Develop a Mission Statement: The Heart of the Leader

Big idea: A mission from your head guides decisions; a mission from your heart protects them.

The author attended nine schools before graduating. Everything he has built (belonging, culture, whole-player development) traces back to “that kid who needed belonging.”
You can’t fake your mission. Players can sense whether a coach believes it or is performing it.
Four honest questions first: What is my past? Why do I still coach? What will I not compromise? What gives me passion?
Four-sentence framework: purpose, process, environment, outcome. His mission, unchanged for 25+ years: develop the “Whole” Player… positively impact every area of their life in a team atmosphere… ready to live and lead a Life of Victory.

Discuss: What experience in your own story already contains your why?

3. Unlocking Leadership: Be the Example, Not Just a Title

Big idea: Leadership is built on example and influence, not title and authority.

Title-centered leaders expect automatic respect, hide insecurity behind position, and want followers instead of developing more leaders.
Be the example of: loyalty, solutions (disagree, then move forward together), positivity, culture, focus, consistency (“you become your systems and habits”), initiative, clear direction (no sarcasm), seeking knowledge, respecting others’ positions, and humble service.
Move from “I should be a leader” to “I want to be a leader.”
Every person can lead, because every person sets an example.

Discuss: Which item on the “be the example” list does your staff or team need most right now?

4. Create More Leaders: Get Teammates Talking

Big idea: If the coaches are the only ones voicing the standards, the culture isn’t there yet.

People remember 10% of what they read but 70% of what they discuss and 95% of what they teach others.
A great culture is “when the players are talking like the coaches when we are not around.” That requires planned moments where players say the standards out loud to each other.
The author faced the same problem with his staff. He was the only one talking. Once every coach had to voice and discuss the standards, the staff aligned quickly.
The chapter includes ready-to-use discussion questions with the reasoning behind each, on mental toughness, team dynamics, growth, and performance prep.

Discuss: When did your players last get structured time to talk about the standard with each other?

5. Insecure vs. Secure Leadership

Big idea: Insecure leaders protect their position; secure leaders protect their people.

Insecurity creeps in when leaders focus on position over purpose, authority over relationships, and status over vision. Staff start to feel disposable and go into self-protection mode.
Secure leaders get their confidence from work ethic, preparation, character, and purpose, not from control. The author credits mentor Ronnie McClurg as his model.
Reminders: know who you are and aren’t, don’t pretend to have all the answers, outwork everyone without needing credit, say thank you often, admit when you’re wrong, and fight for your people.
The chapter ends with self-assessment questions, such as “Am I building people, or simply building my own kingdom?”

Discuss: Without naming names, what have you seen an insecure leader do to a motivated person?

6. Beyond Winning: Discovering True Significance

Big idea: Play for “the game that never ends”: impact, influence, and legacy.

After a State Championship loss (up nine with under a minute left), the three-hour bus ride was silent. The author questioned whether coaching was still his purpose.
Even champions feel empty. Tom Brady: “There’s gotta be more to this.” Success creates moments, but purpose creates meaning.
Winning became a platform rather than an ego boost. Something is worse than losing (failing to compete for something greater), and something is better than winning (becoming the greatest competitor you can be).
Four pursuits: Greatest Competitor, Greatest Identity, Greatest Calling, Greatest Perspective. Daily: Did I get better? Did I make someone else better? Did I make this place better?

Discuss: How do you keep wins from blinding your program and losses from defining it?

7. Emphasizing Trust: Leading in the Rapids

Big idea: Trust starts as a choice before it becomes a feeling.

On the T.E.A.M. Leadership Trip, players raft five miles of whitewater led by a guide they’ve never met, and they follow every instruction exactly.
Afterward: What was your guide’s last name? Does he know your family? Then the turn: “If you trusted a stranger on the river completely, why do we sometimes struggle to trust the people who truly care about you?”
Coaches know your name, your family, and your future, and will invest long after your playing days.
On the river you can go back up the mountain. A season has no do-overs.

Discuss: What makes it harder to trust people who know us well than a stranger with expertise?

8. Compete for Your Role: Let’s Talk About Playing Time

Big idea: Before talking about what you’re not getting, talk about what you’re giving.

The author has had the playing-time conversation as a coach and as a father, watching his son Drew play college basketball.
The playing-time question usually reveals a player’s focus.
The three questions he asks: Are you the hardest worker? The best teammate? The most coachable? All three are fully in your control; playing time isn’t.
Complaints tend to fade as accountability rises. The bigger question is what kind of person the experience is producing.

Discuss: How should a coach handle a playing-time meeting so it builds the player instead of just defending a decision?

9. Conquer Pressure: Strategies for Success

Big idea: Pressure isn’t the enemy. It’s proof that something matters. Prepare for it before it arrives.

Unprepared pressure narrows your vision and pulls attention from purpose to problems.
Fight the right battles: Before engaging, ask, “Does this threaten my purpose, my people, or my culture?” If not, it’s a skirmish. Leaders burn out fighting the wrong battles.
Prepare before the pressure arrives: The dangerous time is the calm before the storm. Daily routine, truth-telling relationships, and a steady sense of purpose are the shelter, and you can’t build it once the storm hits.
Stay the course: Purpose is often tested just before it is rewarded.

Discuss: What “skirmishes” are taking energy from your staff that aren’t worth the cost?

10. From Title to Trust: Redefining Leadership

Big idea: A title gives authority. Leadership is earned through consistent example.

Leadership is like fitness: you can see what someone consistently does by looking at their work, their habits, and their organization’s culture.
People usually leave organizations for two reasons: opportunity for advancement or poor leadership.
A side-by-side chart compares example-based vs. title-based leadership: “Do what I do” vs. “Do what I say,” thrives with talented people vs. threatened by them, protects people first vs. protects image first.
“The higher you go, the less it becomes about you.”

Discuss: Using the chart, which column does your organization’s day-to-day behavior fall in?

11. Refilling Partnerships: The Importance of Relationships

Big idea: Sometimes the answer isn’t judging whether your glass is half full. It’s getting a refill, and refilling others.

Friend and longtime colleague Tony Ford asks: “Is it a third-world problem?” If it doesn’t involve food, shelter, or family health, “you’ll deal with it, but it’s not worth worrying about.”
Watching their water glasses go empty at a convention dinner led to the idea that action matters as much as attitude.
Overthinking and focusing on what we lack can both become self-centered. Surround yourself with people who give perspective.
Two questions: Who is filling your glass? Whose glass are you filling? (Ecclesiastes 4:9–12)

Discuss: Who refills you, and when did you last tell them?

12. What We Have Everyday… Choices

Big idea: Circumstances don’t make our choices for us. We always choose who we are in response.

A player with every reason to quit kept showing up. Over two years, small choices made him one of the most trusted players in the program.
Viktor Frankl: the last human freedom is to choose one’s attitude in any circumstance.
Four daily choices: Compliance (the foundation), Conviction (where exceptional begins), Compromise (the quiet enemy, “small daily surrenders dressed up as reasonable exceptions”), and Covenant (the highest standard, written on the heart).
Are you choosing deliberately or by default?

Discuss: What does compromise usually “sound like” in your locker room or workplace?

13. Every Day Is Game Day: How to Be Ready

Big idea: Like the program’s Game Day Flags, your life sends a message about identity, communication, and allegiance.

An alumnus’s memory of pirate flags downtown inspired the program to bring the flags back as a sign that players are valued and supported.
A symbol of who we are: What do you represent? Decide before the moment, and write a personal mission statement.
How we communicate: Body language, tone, and energy all send signals.
Our allegiance: “Surround yourself with people on the same mission,” and have the courage to stand alone when needed.

Discuss: If your daily life had a flag, what would it say about you?

14. Small Acts Lead to Big Leadership Lessons

Big idea: Real leaders are never above any job. Trust is built in the small things.

The author’s favorite photo of his son’s middle school season: two boys jogging to pick up water bottles left in the end zone while others stayed put.
Stories of Marcus Mariota driving a rookie, folding chairs after meetings, and carrying equipment in high school show servant leadership off the highlight reel.
The photo and article were framed for his son’s wall as a reminder that leadership starts with service.
“What is something I can do today to make life better for someone else?” (Philippians 2:3–4)

Discuss: What are the “water bottles” in your program that always seem to be left for someone else?

15. How Can I Bring Value?

Big idea: Being valuable is a result. Bringing value is an action.

Tying success to how we see ourselves makes us reactive instead of proactive. Frankl: stay in meaning by staying in motion.
Six daily choices (the six E’s): Be the Example, Experience (share it), Emphasize the little things, Erase the negative (“silence is not being neutral”), Encourage others, and Expect nothing in return.
Do even three of them consistently and your impact will change.
When we focus on bringing value, we begin to feel more valuable. (Galatians 6:9)

Discuss: Which of the six comes naturally to you, and which do you avoid?

16. Focus on the Sword: Conquering Fear in Life & Sports

Big idea: Fear is beaten by focusing on what you can control and doing the next right thing.

From the movie Troy: Hector tells Paris, “You think of his sword, and your sword, and nothing else.”
The author burned that line into wood for his daughter Haley, a ballet dancer: focus on every step, not the lights, the crowd, or perfection.
The team version: don’t focus on the crowd, media, or outcomes. Focus on technique, effort, and the battle in front of you.
We fear the unknown, judgment, and disappointment, and most of it is outside our control. (Joshua 1:9)

Discuss: What “noise” pulls your team’s focus in big moments, and how do you train them to tune it out?

17. Leading from the HOV Lane

Big idea: If you want to move fast, you can’t move alone.

Early in his career, the author’s ego made him a do-it-all leader. Staff felt micromanaged and went quiet. Silence can look like buy-in when it is really limitation.
HOV: Humility, Honesty, and Hearing Offer Value. People need to feel safe to share.
Today the staff helps set standards each season and evaluates him as a leader. “We don’t care where the idea comes from; the greatest value wins.” There’s no pecking order on ideas.
The shift happened when he simply started listening. Coaches began talking to each other and holding each other to the mission.

Discuss: Does your staff feel safe enough to disagree with you? How would you know?

18. Mental Health Strategies for Coaches

Big idea: Put on your own oxygen mask first. You can’t pour into others from an empty tank.

Like airplane safety instructions, you can’t help anyone if you can’t breathe.
Leaders are taught to “tough it out,” but neglecting the basics slowly removes the “bricks” underneath them.
Maslow’s layers applied to coaching: Physiological (rest, food, and exercise are performance tools; no title is won by more office hours), Safety (fear produces short-term compliance), Belonging, Esteem, and Self-Actualization.
The “mask” is self-evaluation, faith, trusted relationships, honest feedback, and planned recovery.

Discuss: What does your staff culture say, out loud or not, about rest and asking for help?

Part Three — Winning in Life

This section “steps off the field entirely.” It is the most faith-centered part of the book, written for anyone who has questioned their path and needed a reminder that the race is still worth running.

1. The Truth Card

Big idea: When your mind starts believing lies, anchor yourself in truth backed by evidence.

“This is the chapter that I almost did not write.” The author shares a season of depression, anxiety, and self-doubt that felt like “an invisible injury.”
A mentor taught him to lean on truth, so he wrote what he knew to be true, plus Scripture, on index cards, practice schedules, and call sheets.
T.R.U.T.H.: Today (a U-Haul has no rearview mirror), Remind (remember past joy and victories), Understand (what you’re battling is not your identity), Trust (the people around you “have been my angels all along”), Hope (“tomorrow the sun will rise”).
The card alone didn’t heal him. Counseling, prayer, honest conversations, and people who cared all mattered. “There is no shame, and no greater strength than being willing to seek help.”

Discuss: How can a team or staff make it safe to say “I’m not okay”?

2. How a Young Player Taught Me Gratitude

Big idea: Gratitude is not passive. It’s a lens that changes what you see and what you project.

Driving a player home, the author offered to stop for food. The player said no, because payday meant his mom would make lasagna, “and we get bread and everything.”
Success can dull gratitude as easily as struggle. What used to feel like enough becomes ordinary, then invisible.
That player was one of the most respected the author ever coached, not because of stats but because of his spirit.
Grateful leaders attract people differently. “The person you think you are investing in is… investing right back into you.”

Discuss: What “bread and everything” moment has reset your own perspective?

3. Finding Purpose Amid Life’s Battles

Big idea: There will always be a battle. Purpose doesn’t remove it, but it gives you something to stand on.

A friend’s tough professional situation led to this message: every place has its own issues, but if you find purpose in the battle, you’ll be okay.
Purpose shows up in four ways: Presence (you are not an accident in this moment), Past (what you’ve survived is evidence), Pain (pain reveals what matters), and Progress (small forward movement still counts).
Don’t let the battle make you bitter, small, or closed. Let it make you better.
“The best chapters are often the ones that cost the most to write.” (Romans 8:28)

Discuss: Which of the four is easiest to forget when you’re in the middle of a hard season?

4. Know Your Worth

Big idea: When the armor doesn’t fit, don’t force it. You were made for a different kind of fight.

David arrived at the battlefield to serve (bringing food to his brothers), not to be significant. His brothers dismissed him, and Saul doubted him.
Saul’s armor showed everything David lacked in the world’s eyes. David took it off and picked up what he had practiced with: five smooth stones.
“A dream is not big enough unless doubt shows up alongside it.” Greatness often begins in unseen assignments.
David became who he was long before the battle, while serving, while being overlooked, and while staying faithful.

Discuss: Where do young people today feel pressure to wear “someone else’s armor”?

5. Keep Your Head Up: Character, Confidence, & Conviction

Big idea: What lifts your head depends on which voice you listen to, and the loudest voice is often your own.

“Keep your head up” is one of the first life lessons in sports. Life just brings older versions of the same moments.
Romans 10, “how beautiful are the feet…”: when your head is down, the first thing you see is feet, and you lift your head when you hear the voice.
Character (your worth isn’t defined by circumstances), Confidence (built on consistency and effort, not outcomes), and Conviction (impact comes from persistence, not avoidance).
“Character reminds you of your worth. Confidence reminds you of your work. Conviction reminds you of your calling.”

Discuss: What do your players say to themselves after a mistake, and how do you help change that voice?

6. Perfect Recovery Mix: 5 Loaves & 2 Fish

Big idea: Whatever you have is enough once it is placed in God’s hands.

Athletes need a 2:1 carbohydrate-to-protein recovery ratio. The author worked out the nutrition in five loaves (about 1,440g of carbs) and two 3-lb tilapia (about 720g of protein) and found a 2:1 ratio.
“They do not need to go away”: stay close, and don’t walk away before the miracle.
“Bring them here to me”: God wants what you have, even if it’s only burdens.
“They all ate and were satisfied”: stay close to Him, with a 2:1 ratio of Him to the world. In his most depleted seasons, bringing what little he had was enough.

Discuss: What does a healthy “recovery” routine look like for you outside of physical training?

7. Aluminum Foil Basketball

Big idea: Joy doesn’t wait for better conditions. Go back to why you first loved the game.

On a rural hillside, two young boys played with a ball made of aluminum foil and a plastic rim propped up with bricks, as if it were the NBA Finals.
F.O.I.L.: First (being spoiled is a mindset), Outside (stop worrying about what others think), Inside (joy is tied to purpose; happiness is tied to feelings), and Last (never forget where you came from).
The question isn’t “What do I have?” but “What do I still love?”
“Right now, with what you have, and on whatever hillside you are standing on. Go play.”

Discuss: What conditions have you started placing on your own joy in this work?

8. You Are Made for What You Do

Big idea: Measure life by faithfulness to your calling, not by accomplishments.

Mentor Milt Travis, at his Hall of Fame weekend, asked about the Chris Tomlin song line: “Maybe… we’re all made for what we do.” What if that’s true here on earth?
What if our strengths, weaknesses, trials, and dark seasons are all shaping us for our calling?
The author found the most peace when he stopped obsessing over accomplishments and focused on making a difference. Chasing the next title can make us overlook the people in front of us.
The new yardstick asks one question: were you faithful to what you were called to do?

Discuss: What would change in your week if you measured it by faithfulness instead of results?

9. You Are Born to Be Special

Big idea: The two most important words are to be. You were born special; the question is whether you’ll become what you were created to be.

The phrase hangs on the locker room wall to push back against a world telling young people they’re not enough.
Your fingerprints are proof. No one has ever had yours or ever will.
To be is about action, not ability. People fall short when they let fear, comfort, self-doubt, or other people’s opinions write their story.
The enemies of to be aren’t dramatic: a late morning, a skipped rep, a conversation avoided. “Now go be it.”

Discuss: What does “to be” look like in one ordinary moment this week?

10. Having Worn Hands

Big idea: What we build is meant to be given away, and our scars tell a story that can help others.

Lessons from the author’s woodworking, which he sees as a form of ministry (building family tables):
People only see the finished product. We compare our struggles to someone else’s highlight reel.
You can do almost anything with the right tools, such as knowledge, mentorship, discipline, or mindset.
You build it to give it away, and your hands tell a story. Scars bring empathy and perspective. A ten-foot family table: “moments that outlast the maker.”

Discuss: What are you building right now that is ultimately for someone else?

11. Overcoming Loss: The Power of Relentlessness

Big idea: “Follow your shot.” How you respond after a miss decides whether you get another chance.

After losing the State Championship in the final 26 seconds (with a nine-point lead and less than a 1% chance of losing), the author used an offseason basketball game to teach the team to follow their shot.
Everyone watches how you respond after a miss: do you hang your head, stop shooting, or chase the rebound?
His own story: about two years of applications, a first interview that was “an air ball,” and eight interviews before he was offered a head coaching job.
“Often the only promise truly broken is the one we make when we decide to stop trying.”

Discuss: How does a team avoid letting one painful loss define the next season?

12. Edge Period: Win the Battle

Big idea: Plays are won in the first three steps. Daily life is won with the same fundamentals.

Every practice has an “Edge Period”: stance, start, and contact. “First to contact. Best contact. Win the battle.”
Great Stance: know what you stand for, which eliminates “false steps” away from your purpose.
Great Start: an intentional daily routine. What’s the one conversation or task to handle right away?
Win the Battle: the right people and the two strongest “muscles” (mind and heart). Someone once asked the author: “What if you planned for your life and family with the same intentionality you use for your team?”

Discuss: What does a “great start” to your day actually look like, and how often does it happen?

13. Our Shadow Can Remind Us

Big idea: You can’t have a shadow without a light. God’s presence doesn’t depend on your angle or your pace.

On runs, the author’s shadow acts as a mirror for his form, and became a picture of God’s presence.
Problems in front of you: God is behind you (“I’ve got your back”). Problems behind you: He’s out front leading. Problems beside you: He’s beside you too.
He is there in the valleys we talk about and the ones we never mention.
“Look down… notice the shadow… then lift your head, find your stride, and keep moving forward.” (Isaiah 41:13)

Discuss: What reminders help you remember you’re not walking through hard seasons alone?

14. Taking Advantage of Mustard Seed Opportunities

Big idea: “Greatness is born in smallness.” Big things start as small opportunities someone chose to act on.

The mustard seed is the smallest seed but becomes a striking tree. Are we looking for the tree and missing the seeds?
The bystander studies from Gladwell’s The Tipping Point: people help 85% of the time alone, but only 31% when they think others are present. Responsibility gets spread thin.
On a team, “someone has to step up” often means everyone waits. Small roles (scout team, punt coverage) build reliability for bigger moments.
What’s the one thing you’ve been putting off? Plant one seed. Consistency turns seeds into orchards.

Discuss: Where does “someone else will do it” show up on your team?

15. The Key to Becoming Dedicated: Facing Your Fears

Big idea: Commitment meets the requirements. Dedication is driven from the inside, and fear is what keeps people from it.

Committed people show up and do what’s required. Dedicated people do the extra without being asked. They’re often the top 10% or 1%.
Fear is the #1 barrier: fear of failure, judgment, higher expectations, or being different from your circle (“try-hard,” “coach’s favorite”). Your purpose must be stronger than your fear.
Dedication doesn’t guarantee worldly success, but it guarantees personal growth.
Dedication becomes legacy: “Legacy is not what you say; it is what others repeat after you are gone.”

Discuss: What labels do dedicated players get from their peers, and how can leaders protect them?

16. Pray, Play, and Enjoy the Present

Big idea: If you don’t make the most of the present, you won’t make the most of the future.

The uncertainty of college signing day shows up at every age: promotions, transitions, and the comparison social media makes worse.
Pray: As a teen at his third high school, unsure about playing college football, the author leaned on Matthew 11:28. “A confused player is a slow player.”
Play: His advice to daughter Haley before auditions: if you prepared and did your best, stop worrying, because you’re honoring God with your effort.
Enjoy the Present: Chasing “greener grass” follows us into adulthood. Strong habits matter on every path.

Discuss: How do you help seniors (or anyone in transition) stay present in their final season?

17. Burn the Ships

Big idea: You don’t have to know how it ends to decide you’re all in.

Cortés burned his ships so there was no retreat. The author lived his own version, leaving the only school he had coached at for ten years in Georgia to take a job in Alabama. “I did not feel bold. I felt terrified.”
The ships stand for the voice that says the known is worth more than the unknown.
Once you commit, fear doesn’t disappear, but it loses its power. All your energy goes toward making it work.
Fear is a liar, there’s no growth in the comfort zone, and “security that keeps you from becoming who you are supposed to be… is a very comfortable ceiling.”

Discuss: What “ships” (old habits, fears, or safety nets) keep calling you back?

18. Encouragement: One Drop at a Time

Big idea: You don’t need a bucket to pour into others. Encouragement is a habit, one drop at a time.

During a post-conditioning talk on “We Are All Difference Makers,” it started to rain, and the drops became the lesson.
Encouragement happens one drop at a time: a text, a call, a pat on the back. For many people one drop is enough.
Encouragement is a habit: the author calls old friends on his drives. Ask what someone did that made you feel valued, then do it for someone else.
Encouragement adds up: water molecules stick together. Teams are shaped by what they consistently give and receive. Be “a steady shower of positive energy.”

Discuss: What could your team do to build encouragement into the week on purpose?

Closing: Keep Taking Steps — A Final Word

Everything in the book comes back to purpose.
The three sections are one idea, and “there is no neutral ground.” How you live either adds to the people around you or takes away from them.
The final challenge: Pick the one chapter that hit you hardest, read it again, and choose one thing you will do differently.
“The goalpost is not the finish line. It is the starting point.”

Suggested Study Schedule & Facilitator Tips

A 10-session plan

The chapters are short (most are 4–6 pages), so six chapters per session works well for a weekly staff or leadership group.

Session	Reading	Focus
1	Author’s Note, How to Use This Book, Coaching ch. 1–6	Rebuilding, overachieving teams, habits, teammates, coachability, purpose
2	Coaching ch. 7–12	Sacrifice, discipline, toughness, effort, development, seeing through the coach’s eyes
3	Coaching ch. 13–18	Roles, vision, the 4 Languages, standards, culture taking over
4	Leadership ch. 1–6	Why, mission, example, getting players talking, secure leadership, significance
5	Leadership ch. 7–12	Trust, playing time, pressure, title vs. trust, relationships, choices
6	Leadership ch. 13–18	Game day, small acts, bringing value, fear, the HOV lane, mental health
7	Life ch. 1–6	Truth Card, gratitude, purpose in battle, worth, keep your head up, recovery
8	Life ch. 7–12	Joy, calling, Born to Be Special, worn hands, relentlessness, Edge Period
9	Life ch. 13–18	Presence, mustard seeds, dedication, the present, burn the ships, encouragement
10	Final Word + Personal Notes	Each person shares the one chapter that hit hardest and the one thing they’ll change

Shorter option: Go one section per session (3–4 meetings) and have each person choose 2–3 chapters to lead.

Tips for leading the discussion

Start with the story, then the framework. Each chapter’s story is what people will remember. Ask “What stood out in the story?” before getting to the list.
Use both question sets. Assign the book’s Reflection Guide question as personal homework, and use this guide’s “Discuss” question in the room.
Push every chapter past football. The author ends nearly every chapter by applying it to work, family, and faith. Ask, “Where does this show up outside the program?”
Let people lead. This fits the book’s own advice (Create More Leaders): people remember 95% of what they teach. Rotate who leads each chapter.
Watch for connections. Several ideas come back on purpose: Create More Leaders ↔ When Culture Takes Over ↔ HOV Lane (player- and staff-led culture); Beyond Winning ↔ Overcoming Loss (the same State Championship loss, told two ways); the 4 C’s of choices ↔ the coachability steps; Getting Back to Why ↔ Aluminum Foil Basketball.
Handle the Truth Card and Mental Health chapters with care. These are the author’s most personal chapters. Keep sharing optional, and make it clear that seeking help is a strength, which is the chapter’s own message.
Know your group on the faith content. Part Three in particular is openly Christian. In a mixed group, the principles (truth, gratitude, presence, purpose) still apply, and the Scripture can be offered for those who want it.
End with one commitment. Close every session the way the book closes: each person names one thing they will do differently this week.

For coaching staffs

A few chapters are worth reading together as a staff before the season: See Through Your Coaches’ Eyes (the staff guidelines), 4 Languages of Successful Teams, Insecure vs. Secure Leadership, Leading from the HOV Lane, and Mental Health Strategies for Coaches. Together they make a strong preseason staff retreat. For structured follow-up, see the T.E.A.M. Leadership Program and the Total Program Development Manual.

Leading a study with your staff or team?

Order 10 or more copies direct and save up to 35%. The built-in Reflection & Discussion Guide makes the book ready to use the day it arrives.

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Beyond the GoalpostBook Study Guide