Over my career I have been a part of 4 Football Programs & each has presented different challenges & resources available for success. However, no matter the differences, the internal needs for successful players have been the same. I have found these ingredients to be true for coaches, co-workers, & anyone in a “Relationship Business.” The 1st Three Languages for player needs are Structure, Discipline, & Love. Each Language is dependent upon another needed Language. Structure doesn’t exist without Discipline & Discipline is not effective without Love.
Structure just like the walls & roof of your house, give players a sense of security, safety, & boundaries. When one feels secure they are more likely to be authentic and maximize performance within their boundaries. Non-structured programs or lots of activity without purpose produce chaos & have the reverse affect on most players. They are often confused and underachieve not knowing what to expect consistently. Having a purpose driven organization with daily matching structure & planning is a key language for players.
However, you can be a tremendous organizer with great vision & the program will underachieve without Discipline. An example would be having 5 kids in a beautiful home with a security system but you hide in a locked room all day. All the measures may be in place but without Expectations, Accountability, & Consistent Communication the security system will get hacked, walls may fall, or the roof may catch fire. All people want “Discipline“, the kind that is used in conviction for improvement and helping you reach a standard of excellence. There is also the “Discipline” used to make one fear loss, punishment, or constant threatening. Although this can be effective, it eventually leads to the feeling of abandonment, lessened personal drive, and players disengaging from their coaches. Discipline is Non-Negotiable and carries a fine line but is also why it cannot survive without Love.
Every human being on the planet is in search for a Loving Relationship. Every person is also “Born Special“, searching for Self Worth, & carrying a unique gift for impact burning inside. Sometimes we can Discipline with a whole bucket of water, putting their fire out completely. We could also never Discipline and let one’s fire rage out of control. Too much Love and there is no Discipline, too much Discipline and there is no Love. You will have players that need their fire ignited with Motivation and others that just need the kindling of Encouragement & Love. Love fuels our fire of purpose and it needs to burn brightly for all to see. So Be “Demanding” and “Not Demeaning”, “Coach them Hard” and “Love them Hard.” But when in doubt, always default to Love.
No, I didn’t forget about the 4th Language…… WINNING.. The saying that “Winning Cures All” is always true for the moment. No matter the day, Success and Winning, will make you forget issues quickly. People are also more likely to buy into your methods if experiencing success. However, Winning is not the ultimate answer & the program will crumble if Non-Success is combined with the absence of Structure, Discipline, & Love.
SO EVERYDAY SPEAK THE 4 LANGUAGES:
COMPETE TO WIN, PROVIDE STRUCTURE & DISCIPLINE,
& ALWAYS REMEMBER —-LOVE NEVER FAILS—1 Corinthians 13:4-8